An Impossibly, Delusional Love
by fly away tonight
Summary: This is the story of a girl in love with a fictional boy, based on a man who is to become the therapist to deal with her irrational love. AU, AH. BxE. I do not own ANYTHING Twilight related in this story. Stephenie Meyer does. I just own the plot.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything Twilight, just the plot to this story.  
**

* * *

BPOV

As soon as I pulled the last box out of the moving van it pulled away. I looked up at the New York skyline and sighed. Walking through the ornate lobby of my family's apartment building and into the elevator I realized how truly glad I was to be done with college and back home. A huge smile lit across my face as I realized that being back in New York would prevent my _oh so lovely_ best friend, Alice, from pestering me about what she politely calls an obsession. I, personally, call it a seriously deranged and psychotic love. Because, well honestly, who falls in legitimate love with a fictional character? Well here's a big hint: I do.

I think I need to explain how this all came about. It all started after my senior year of high school. I didn't know that choosing to go to Northwestern University would result in one of the most drastic changes in my life to date. There, I met my best friend Alice Brandon, which is really weird. I'll explain the weirdness shortly. As soon as I told her my name was Bella Swan she completely freaked out screaming about some book and yelling my name. Being my shy and slightly scared of crazy people self I asked her to explain and stop screaming. Faster than I thought possible she ran to her suitcase and pulled out four books she called the _Twilight_ saga. She explained that I had the same name as the main character. Weird, right? I tried to get Alice to just explain the books but she flat out refused, saying I needed to read them for myself.

Over the next week I spent hours sitting on our window bench, curled up with the books. By the time I finished the series I noticed that Bella and I were eerily similar; we both had pale skin, dark hair and eyes, felt plain and were extremely clumsy and accident prone. Even more strange was that Alice Cullen, book Bella's best friend, had originally been named Alice Brandon and was basically the same person as my new roommate. It was, honestly, enough to seriously freak me out. In what universe does a girl's new favorite book have her and her best friend as characters?

Anyways, now I'll be getting to the reason that I am and possibly will forever be a deranged psycho: Edward Cullen. _Sigh_. He is the reason my _amazing_ best friend pesters me constantly. In my mind he is the perfect guy for me. He's strong, sweet, talented, kind, smart, quiet, protective, and oh so delicious looking. I have been in love with him ever since that fateful week in freshman year.

So as to not let Alice in on this awkward secret, I went on dates with multiple guys. None of them ever stuck though, because they were all measured on a scale of one to Edward Cullen. They all seemed to fall at "Mike Newton" level. Yes, even he had his own degree on my scale, just like the rest of the _Twilight_ men.

To prove the validity of my scale I'll explain some of the guys that I dated. There was Kyle, who had the annoying habit of touching me whenever possible. He was at "Eric Yorkie" level. Then there was Anthony who seemed to be at "Jacob Black" level for a while but after a month he "loved" me. I mean, seriously, we only had four dates. Four! After that I just went on random dates never going past a second one.

That is, until Alice introduced me to my only boyfriend during college, Aiden. He was extremely good looking. He was definitely a solid Jacob on the scale, which I accidentally let slip to Alice after our fourth date. She of course freaked out when she realized I had a scale, especially when she found out who held the top spot of that scale. After her mini tirade she basically forced me to stay with Aiden. I was glad she did so because he and I lasted for about two and a half years, even though he knew I didn't love him like he loved me. I think he would have left me sooner if he had realized I was already in love with someone else.

After Aiden, I concentrated on my last semester at Northwestern and my Edward. Every day Alice would bother me about my obsession and I would block her out with daydreams of Edward and me. Once finals and graduation ended I packed up and flew back to New York as fast as I could.

So here I was standing in the elevator waiting to see my family again for the first time in months. Once I heard the ding I slipped the key card into the elevator's scanner and the doors opened revealing my entire family standing in our living room. My little sister, Amy, let out a loud shriek. "Bella! I missed you so much. God, I wish you got home sooner. Senior year was so hard without your help"

I let out a light giggle. "Well, hello to you too. And I'm sorry I wasn't here to service you oh great sister of mine," I laughed with sarcasm dripping from my words. I turned to see my mother and father beaming at me proudly. I started to make my way toward them for a hug but, of course, my natural affinity for the ground decided to show up and I ended up sprawled out on the floor. My dad howled with laughter before saying "I guess the floor missed you too, Bella. Not even here for five minutes and you're already tripping."

I hid my blush behind my hair as I stood up only to be grabbed by my parents. My mom started sobbing quietly into my shoulder saying how much she missed me and how proud she was that I had graduated. After a while they sent me off to my suite to unpack.

* * *

After a quick meal with my parents, mom insisted that I head off to bed to get rest from my long flight. I, of course, quickly agreed and headed straight into my bathroom. I took out my strawberry shampoo and freesia body wash and got into the shower. As I scrubbed my hair and watched the suds go down the drain I let my thoughts drift to Edward's and my meadow.

_I broke through the last bit of ferns to see Edward lying on the ground, shirtless, smiling as he took in the sun's warmth. Without saying anything I lay down next to him and reached for his sparkling hand. I immediately felt the cold rush up my arm and the electric spark pulse between us. We lay in quiet for a while until he whispered "I love you, Bella."_

Just as I was about to answer him back I heard my mother's worried voice calling to me, "Bella, can I talk to you for a moment. I'm not exactly sure what to make of this but I think you may need to explain to me." I hurriedly got out of the shower and threw on a big towel. Before she had time to call me again I was in front of her, looking at the item in her hands with wide, fearful eyes. My journal.

"Oh, god. Mom, what exactly did you read in that," I questioned in a small voice, still not meeting her gaze. I, of course, knew that she'd just uncovered my dark secret and that she knew of Edward, since that was all I wrote of in the stupid thing. I started to hyperventilate slightly as she sighed and handed me the open book and pointing to a specific page. "Come talk to me about this when you're calm. I really think you should," she sighed and walked out of the room.

My vision clouded slightly with tears, but I quickly shook them away with a shuddering breath. Looking down, I turned to read the entry my mother had just read.

_May 14, 2010_

_I am a sickly, delusional person. This is proven by the fact that I am in love with a completely fictional character. In my mind he has taken on a life and personality of his own. Whether it is sane to love an imaginary being I am not completely sure. What I do know is that, from my personal point of view, it is the most utterly insane and irrational form of love to exist._

_To be in love with someone I can never truly see, hear, smell, taste, or touch is an absolute torture in and of itself. I wonder how many other women have truly fallen for his golden eyes and crooked smile, the way I have. My love has become, what Alice calls, an obsession. Every night is spent reading different stories about him, just to get my fix. He's like a drug to me. I cannot ignore his call. No matter how much I resist, I will always cave for him. I know I need to pull away from him, but it is impossible to do so. I fear it will cause me actual pain to lose him from my daily life. _

_Every night as he calls to me to stay awake with him in his constant waking hours I ponder the direction my life has taken due to my addiction to him. I would say I should go to a therapist to figure out why I'm like this but I'm terrified of doing so. If I look for some treatment my family will know of my pathetic state. Alice is enough of a bother about my situation already._

_It figures that after searching through all of high school, I find the perfect boy in college. It's just my luck that he turned out to be completely fictional. I honestly wonder if I'll ever feel a love like this with a real, living person…_

Oh. My. God. Of all the entries she has to choose to read she chose this one, the one that basically is a huge cry for help. I had a feeling I knew exactly what she was going to talk to me about once I met her in her office.

I slowly closed my journal and set it down on top of my bed. Reluctantly, I made my way out of my room and down the hall. I stood in from of her door for a moment before taking a big breath and knocking. "Come in, Bella," I heard her soft reply along with the sound of a phone being hung up. I walked in quickly, against my better judgment, and took a seat on her leather couch. "So, Bella," she started. "Obviously, you know why I called you in here. I really don't think you should be embarrassed about wanting to see a therapist for your …um.. situation."

Completely shocked by her reaction, I sit and silently gape at her. I could not believe my ears. I had thought she would think I was mentally unsound, or something like that. Instead, I got her support and concern, which, I must say, was easier to deal with than Alice and her idea of throwing guys at me.

I slowly came back down to reality and a small smile lit my face. "Mom, thank you. I was so scared of what you would think and I.. well, I didn't want to make your life any harder. I.. I just guess it's going to hurt to let Edward go.." I trailed off as I got slightly choked up. After a moment of clearing my throat I continued. "I hope you know that after one session I probably won't want to go back," I sighed, knowing it was the truth.

She looked over at me with a sly grin, which I had come to understand meant the she had been anticipating something. She looked sheepish for a moment then said in a rush "Well, I figured that you would say that so I already set up an appointment for you. It's with Dr. Masen. He's very talented and I'm sure you'll be okay." After that she heaved a sigh and waited for me to explode.

My mouth fell open and I gazed at her in shock. For a moment I sputtered before pushing out words that made sense. "Mom, I'm not even going to comment. But, please just warn me when the appointment is. I need to start saying goodbye to Edward." She gave me a huge grin and jumped out from behind her desk to give me a hug. I could tell she had some other shoe she needed to drop so I sighed and said, "Mom, just spit it out."

Again she looked away from me and mumbled, "The doctor is going to need your journal." I sat and absorbed this information for a moment before I shrugged and agreed to hand it over. She continued to explain how she would drop it off tomorrow and that my appointment was set for the day after tomorrow.

Walking back to my room, I felt like I was about to rip out a piece of my heart. I looked at my bookshelf that held the story of my dear Edward and cried. After a moment, I lie down on my bed and let my sobs be absorbed by my mountain of pillows, thinking that not even chocolate and ice cream could make this better. Eventually, I let myself drift off into a fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own anything Twilight, just the plot for this story.**

* * *

BPOV

_I looked over at Edward and attempted to give him my best smile, although I knew it could never compare to his adorably crooked one. Taking one hand off the steering wheel, he turned and shot me a look of mock annoyance, though the mischief could be seen clearly through his eyes. Faster than any human could possibly move, he launched himself across the center console and planted a cold kiss on my lips. Before I even had time to blink he was back in his seat, facing the road with a smug grin plastered across his face._

_I could still feel my heart pounding as a slight giggle escaped me. Thinking over Edward's random playfulness, the giggle turned into a full out laugh. Edward seemed amused by my antics, watching me from the corner of his eye. Once I was able to breathe again, Edward smiled at me. "Are you alright now, Bella? I was worried you had finally cracked on me," he asked, the mocking tone obvious in his voice._

_"No. Wait. I mean yeah, I'm fine," I replied and smacked my forehead for sounding so stupid. Feeling a blush start to rise in my cheeks, I pressed my face against the window, which, surprisingly, was not cold or hard. I turned my face to Edward knowing that I looked extremely perplexed. He just shrugged and opened his mouth to speak only to release a high keening noise, the likes of which I'd never heard him make before. My mouth dropped open due to shock. He seemed confused as well, so he attempted to speak again only to reproduce the awful screech. _

_Suddenly, I was being dragged backwards from Edward. I could feel the change in my surroundings almost instantly._

Great. Another lovely dream ruined. By what, I was not exactly sure. _BRINGG! _Oh, phone. Well, that made sense because it kind of sounded like the freakish noise Edward had made. Slower than a snail, I opened my eyes and rolled over to look at my clock. Eleven. Ugh, who would call a person like me at this time? Everyone knew I didn't like to wake up before noon if it wasn't necessary.

After cursing the person who called me, I dragged myself out of my bed and walked to the table that held my cordless phone. " Hello," I muttered into the mouthpiece, while simultaneously sinking into the bean bag behind me. I heard the other person on the line say something but my still half asleep brain did not process it. "I'm sorry. What did you say," I quietly mumbled.

"Bella, you were still asleep weren't you," my mother laughed at me. "I just wanted to call and let you know that I dropped your journal off to Dr. Masen. He had me wait for a while so he could skim through it. Honestly, I've never seen a doctor become so interested in a case in my life. Seriously, he read it and immediately decided to take you on."

"Huh, I wonder what I could have possibly done that would make him so interested," I questioned in a highly sarcastic voice. "Really mom, it doesn't surprise me that he wants to take me on. I just don't get why he would be super excited about it."

"Well, I'm going to hang up, honey. I've got to get into the office. So I'll talk to you later. Love you."

"Alright, love you too mom," I sighed as I hung up the phone. I sat in my chair for a few moments just staring at the opposite wall. Why would a doctor be that interested in someone when they know nothing about them? Honestly, what if he just thought I'm some kind of psychopath and he wanted to witness the craziness? I shook my head and thought that I needed to stop. There was no way any doctor could be that callous. There just had to be another reason he was so interested.

With that decided, I hopped out of my chair to make an attempt at getting breakfast. After padding straight towards my heavenly coffee machine, I made myself a strong cup of coffee that any mother would disapprove of. As the steaming liquid slid down my throat, I already felt myself wake up. By some random stroke of luck, when I opened the refrigerator there was already a plate of food, with my name on it, sitting there. I quickly popped it into the microwave and turned on the stereo.

A wry smile crossed my face when I heard the song that was on. Hearing the words of Linkin Park's _Leave Out All the Rest_, I laughed at how much it resembled my life at that moment. I was just going to leave my love behind and have to pretend like it didn't hurt me. I knew that once I started the process, Edward would visit me in my dreams to yell at me for leaving him behind. Hopefully, I would be able to convince him not to be too mad at me. Hopefully, he would be able to forgive me. I shook myself out of that depressing train of thought and sat myself and my food down on the island.

Near the end of my meal a piece of paper fluttered down from the ceiling and landed on my plate. I laughed when I realized it was a note from Amy saying she would be out till the next night. As I turned my head upwards my laugh turned into a complete fit. It was such an Amy thing to do: leaving me a bunch of notes all taped to the ceiling above the place she knew I would eat.

Shaking my head, I got up and went directly to my closet to get some Alice-approved clothing. After staring at the mountain of suitcases in front of me, I randomly opened one and grabbed a long sleeved blue shirt, light washed skinny jeans, and a wide belt to throw around my waist. It took me only a moment to get changed, so I stood there and attempted to decide what to do that day.

I nearly smacked myself when I realized that it would probably be one of my last days with Edward. I decided that he needed a proper farewell, in the form of the first two movies he was in. I spun in a circle trying to remember what box held the DVDs before spotting it. Eagerly, I ran into my room and turned on the first one.

* * *

In the middle of the second movie I nearly jumped out of my skin. My phone had decided to make its presence known, once again. After seeing that it was already six o'clock, I ran over to the ringing monster only to see that Alice was calling me. Really no surprise there.

The second I pressed talk, I heard Alice squeal. "Bella! God, I've missed you so much. It's so boring here without you. Shopping isn't nearly as fun when I don't get to drag you with me. So, what's been happening in New York? Have you made any choices about…um.. Edward?" She squeaked that last part out, probably expecting me to get mad at her for it.

"Hey, Alice. I've missed you too. But, I'm definitely not missing the shopping," I laughed. Sighing, I continued. "Well, nothing major is going on here right now. But…um..uh.. my mom found my journal. And read it." I winced waiting for the onslaught that I knew was to come.

"Oh my god. What did she say? What are you going to do about it? Does she agree with me about getting over him?"

"Well, she didn't flip out on me about it. She was actually really calm, but she suggested that I see a therapist. I kind of agreed to see him, since I know you guys are right about the obsessing."

"oo, really?! Bella, I'm so proud of you! So, what do you know about el doctor," she asked in a mock Spanish accent.

"Well, his name is Dr. Masen. My mom dropped my journal off to him this morning and he skimmed it. She said he was immediately interested in me once he'd read it. That's all I know about him. I do think it's kind of weird that he'd be as interested as my mom's made him seem."

I heard Alice snicker on the other end of the phone. Just as I was about to ask her what was so funny she decided to clue me in. "God, Bella. You know what would be really funny? If Dr. Masen's name was Edward. HAHAHAHA! Seriously Edward has all those medical degrees and this guy's got the same last name as him. Oh, and he's super interested in your case!" She stopped talking to let out a full blown laugh.

"Alice, don't even joke about that. I'm going to see him to get over Edward not to torture myself," I tried to admonish her, but the laugh that escaped let her know I thought it was funny too. "Now that I think about it, it is kind of funny. Seriously, what are the odds that Bella Swan, who is in love with fictional Edward, finds a doctor named Masen who wants to do her case," I snorted.

"Ahaha, I know! You have to promise to call me once you have the appointment. I want to hear all about it. Including what this guy looks like. I don't know why, but I have a hunch that little piece of information is slightly important."

"Alright, Alice. I promise I'll give you all the details after the appointment. Oh, and it's tomorrow." I looked at the clock to see that it was already nine o'clock. Jeez, time just flew by when I was talking to this slightly crazy girl. "Hey, Alice. Listen I've got to go. I still need to get dinner then I'm going to head to bed early."

"Okay. Bye, Bella. I'll talk to you tomorrow night. Oh! Don't forget to say hello to Edward Cullen for me," she laughed before she hung up the phone. A second later, a blush started to rise in my cheeks. She would just love it if something like that were to happen.

* * *

An hour later, I lay surrounded by my pillow mountain staring up at the ceiling. I didn't bother to move when I heard my parents arrive home. It was just easier to ponder what the next day would bring alone.

I had already gotten over my crying jag by the time my father had come in my room to kiss me goodnight. Lucky for me, I guess. Truth be told, I didn't want my father to see the extent of my lunacy by witnessing me crying over the loss of an imaginary boy. I'm sure he would know what to say if Edward were real, since he always did. I just didn't think he would be able to handle trying to cheer me up about a person we all knew didn't exist.

"Bella, look at me." My heart spun out of control as I heard his melodic voice. I quickly sat up and spun around my bed, searching for him. I let out a desperate cry when I realized Edward wasn't truly in my room; I'd just imagined it. Slowly, I fell back into my pillow, tears streaming down my face once again. "Bella, look at me," he commanded with a harsher tone this time.

Sighing I whispered, "Edward, I already looked for you. I don't see you." God, I must have been going truly insane at this point. I was talking to a hallucination. "Look, I can't find you. So please, just tell me what you want from me."

"Oh, Bella. Please don't cry. I just came to tell you that I understand. I know why you're doing this. I just want you to know that, no matter what, I'll always love you," he whispered back.

"I love you too, Edward." With that said, I felt myself start to drift into unconsciousness. Before I was completely asleep, I could have sworn I felt the weight of someone sitting down on my bed and the slight pressure of a pair of lips touching my forehead.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not not own anything Twilight related. I own solely the plot to this story and any added characters. =D**

* * *

Oh, God. Today was the day my life was going to change drastically. All my inner-most thoughts were to be laid out for this doctor. Did I even know if he could help me? Because I was going to need a lot of it based on that little hallucination from last night.

I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling thinking over what had happened before I fell asleep. I had heard Edward talking to me and felt him kiss me goodnight. I could not actually count how many times this lovely occurrence had happened. I knew he was never really there, but it was comforting to fall asleep to my insane imaginings. It was a good thing Alice never found out about this little issue because she would have gone berserk on me.

With a heaving sigh, I pulled myself out of my bed and walked into the bathroom to shower. As I felt the hot water stream down my back something began to nag at the back of my brain. I'd been thinking about the fact that Alice and I were so like our book counterparts. To me it seemed slightly strange. There just had to be a reason that we were so alike. Then there was also the fact that Alice and I both felt as if me had met before college but couldn't place when. As I shampooed my hair I let the strawberry scent take me away into my memories.

Oh! I snapped my eyes open, realizing for the first time that they had been shut as I finally remembered where I had met Alice before. A huge smile spread across my face as the past flew through my mind.

_FLASHBACK_

_Fifteen years old, I walked into the mall in Chicago. Normally I wouldn't ever come to this place, but it was the only place close enough to my hotel that had a bookstore. I shivered as I stepped into the heat, finally realizing how cold it was outside in the snow. I pulled off my hat and rearranged my thick bangs back into place._

_I smiled as I saw the sign for Borders ahead of me. Walking at a brisk pace, I didn't see the tiny girl in front of me until I ran into her. With a loud Oomph from the both of us, we fell onto the floor. I sat up and looked at the girl. For a moment I was stunned. She was tiny, but obviously my age. She had long, shiny black hair and bright blue eyes that stood out from her pale skin. I held out my hand and smiled sheepishly. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to do that I was just really excited to get to the book store," I apologized feeling a blush light up my face._

_"Oh, that's okay. I'm like that with clothes store I absolutely love shopping. It's the best..Oh, I'm Ali Brandon by the way," she said in a hyper tone while I pulled her off the floor. I couldn't help but smile. She was the complete opposite of me: Hyper, friendly, loved shopping. "Oh..um.. I'm Isabella Swan," I answered with a grin. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing when we say her bags all around us. "I'll help you pick these up," I offered._

_She looked at me for a moment before her eyes got really big and a huge smile lit her face. "Isabella! You have to let me take you shopping! I know so many things that would look good on you. I can't wait to buy you this outfit I saw. I knew I'd find someone it would work for." she yelled as she grabbed my arm. I let out an involuntary groan at the mention of shopping and gifts. She smirked and asked me what was wrong. _

_"Ali, you hardly know me. I'm just here on vacation with my family. Besides, I absolutely loathe shopping. Oh, and please, please, please don't spend your money on me. I really don't like people doing that. Even my own family," I tried to explain. She just looked at me pointedly and told me that since it was a vacation I needed something good to remember it by. I quickly realized that she was an insanely stubborn girl, almost as stubborn as me. With a sigh, I agreed to her plan. _

_Before I knew it the whole day had passed and she had bought me enough clothes to last a life time. We had learned so much about each other, sharing our life stories. As we stood at the door, I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that we both had tears in our eyes. "Well, I guess this is our good bye. Really Ali, thank you for everything. I'm going to miss you when I get home," I sniffed. She simply threw all our bags on the floor and jumped on my in a fierce hug. We stood like that for a moment getting odd looks from passersby and a small smile from one woman with long dark hair, dark eyes, and extremely pale skin. A moment later we parted with whispered good byes as she walked to her car and me to the cab waiting on the corner._

_END FLASHBACK_

Finishing up my shower, I couldn't help but let out a gleeful laugh at having discovered the origins of Alice and me. After that trip I had thought of Ali often, but eventually as time passed, the memory of that winter day slipped with it. By the time I had gotten to college I had forgotten all about the friend I had made in Chicago.

It made sense that we had not realized who the other was when we had met up again, considering the fact that she went by her whole name and I went by Bella at this point. There was also the fact that we had both grown up; she had cut off her hair and I had grown mine long and changed my bangs, we had both gained some height, and looked, all together, like very different people.

As I got ready for the appointment I decided to tell Alice my news as soon as I got home again. She would be completely ecstatic to have finally figured out our giant mystery. It had been bothering her so much more than I as she was never really one to forget things. I could practically hear her already screaming into the phone about how annoyed she was that I had remembered first. With a grin plastered on my face due to my most likely accurate image, I sat down to blow dry my hair

* * *

Walking into the elevator of the doctor's building, I could feel my nerves starting to build up. I push the button for his floor and stood wringing my hands together at an ever increasing pace. As I watched the numbers go up, I started to breathe in a shallow pattern. Oh, God, why was I doing this? I did not want to have a panic attack in the elevator. That would no good for anyone, especially me. As I tried to calm my breathing I heard the doors open. Looking up, I found myself in the waiting room of the doctor's office.

I sat down in my chair and thought to myself that so far it was going well. I guess I spoke too soon though, as I heard the ever familiar velvety voice of my hallucination call my name. At first I just ignored him because I was at the appointment to learn to do just that, except on a more permanent level. He continued calling my name, a slight chuckle coming into his voice. Finally, I looked up, not expecting to see him as he had never actually show himself to me before, to see a pair of devastatingly familiar green eyes looking at me in amusement. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, figuring it would make this stupid mirage leave me alone. I cracked one eye open to see him smiling at me, fully now.

With a groan I put my head in my hands and decided that another tactic should be used to get him to leave. I quietly started to talk to him. "Edward, what are you doing here?! I'm supposed to be getting over this psychotic fucked up obsession. You suddenly deciding that I need to be able to see you now,too, isn't going to help exactly. Isn't it enough that you talk to me in my head at night? God, why can't you just let me go? You said you would last night. Please, just go. I need to go see the doctor and, well, frankly, this little situation will look extremely odd when he sees me talking to a freaking _hallucination_," I finished with another groan.

I watched the floor as I saw his feet walking closer to me. I laughed shakily when I realized he wouldn't leave me so easily. I should have known. Edward always did as he pleased, and I guessed this instance was no different. I barely moved as he slowly kneeled in front of me. Again, I watched from between the cracks in my fingers as he slowly reached toward me and pulled my hands from my face. I let out a loud gasp. I wasn't supposed to be able to feel Edward! He wasn't real! Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What was going on? I looked up at his face cautiously and felt my breathing start to increase, rapidly.

"Hello, Bella. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Edward Masen. Are you ready to head into the office," he asked me. I nodded dumbly as I processed what he had just told me. This man, that looked and sounded exactly like Edward Cullen, was actually Dr. Masen. Dr. Edward Masen was, in fact, not a hallucination. As I walked behind him toward the office I suddenly stopped in my tracks. "Oh, God," I groaned and buried my face in my hands as I realized that I had talked to him as if he was my hallucination. He turned towards me with a worried look of his face and asked if I was alright. "Oh, yeah. I'm freaking great. I just talked to you like you were Edward. Well, you are an Edward, but not _the_ Edward. God. Oh, and even better! You now know about my little issue with freaking hallucinations," I answered with a sarcastic smile. He smiled at me, politely, in a way that made me almost think he understood what was going through my head. Yet, there was something else to that crooked smile, the one that naturally sent my heart flying, that set me on my guard. There was a certain aspect of that particular smile that told me he had a secret. I could only assume it had something to do with what I had said.

I walked into his office distractedly, as I went over my words in my head. I had not thought I had said anything that would be of consequence to him. That is, until I stopped dead in my tracks upon seeing the wall in front of me. My jaw dropped open as I saw a picture of Dr. Masen standing next the _the_ Stephenie Meyer. I hesitantly moved towards the wall, where a piece of paper was framed below the picture. The whole time Dr. Masen stayed standing in the door. He was probably wondering what I was doing. Then again he must have understood my reaction to the fact that he knew that amazing woman—

All thought left my brain as I started to read the piece of framed stationary. As the word sunk in, my heart started to race faster and faster until I thought it would explode from over exertion. _Shit!_ It was a thank you note from my favorite author. Not just any thank you note, though. It was one thanking him for being the basis of one of her cherished characters. My heart dropped into my shoes as I realized the reason that I had thought the doctor was a hallucination.

My beloved vampire was the doctor. The doctor was my vampire. I felt my knees give out as that thought raced through my brain. Before I hit the carpet, I felt a pair of strong arms lift me up and place me on a soft, leather couch. "Bella, you need to calm down. You are breathing way to fast. There is a possibility that you may pass out if you keep this up," he cautioned me. I let out a shaky laugh as I continued down my path to a complete mental breakdown.

I tried to think rationally. So, I had fallen in love. With a fictional boy, no less. Said fictional boy was actually based on a real man. That much I could grasp. I understood that Edward couldn't possibly be completely made up. I continued with my reasoning and attempt to avoid a full blown panic attack. I remembered that I was at the appointment to get over my obsession. Another hysterical laugh escaped me as I realized that I could not get rid of the obsession if it was to stay with me like this.

By this point I was rocking back and forth due to my thought process. I suddenly sat bolt upright and stock still as I realized the most horrifying part of discovering that a fantasy was now reality. Dr. Masen, Edward, had my journal. He had read it. He knew how in love I was with Edward Cullen. _He_ was Edward Cullen. I was basically in love with him. And he _knew_. He knew from the beginning that I was inherently in love with him. He had actually wanted to do my case.

_Of course he wanted to do your case, you freak_. I chastised myself_. You're a girl who's in love with him without actually knowing that he even existed. Why wouldn't he want to try and understand that?_ I slowly turned my head to the side to see him sitting next to me, silently holding up a tissue with a concerned look in his eyes. It was then that I realized that I was crying. I snatched it from him, angrily, and buried my face in my arms, letting sobs rip through my body.

_How could someone be so awful as to take on a case for there own amusement_, I thought ruefully. I immediately stopped my thought as I realized he wouldn't do that. I knew Edward and he was never a malicious being. As I tried to reason with myself I felt him place his hand on my back and begin rubbing it to calm me down. Eventually my sobs quieted to barely audible sniffles. "I assume that was your discovery of who I am," he asked quietly. I simply nodded my head, not yet able to find my voice. "I also assume you would like some sort of an explanation," he continued as I nodded again, without looking at him.

"Well, it's fairly simple really. Back a few years, I was in a mall in Chicago and this woman was watching me. It honestly freaked me out, at first. But then she smile and introduced herself. She told me she was trying to write a book and thought I looked like the boy she imagined one of her characters to be. She asked me a bunch of questions. Everything in her books is true in regards to my hobbies, likes, dislikes, and family, except my parents being dead. She seemed to like me so much that she turned me into a character." He sighed before running his fingers through his hair. I smiled a little at the gesture, thinking Stephenie described it spot on. "She also told me two other characters were to be based on two girls she had seen in the mall. She hadn't been able to interview them, though. She only mentioned one more thing about her book before she got my address and left. She told me that the two characters names were to be the same as the girls she had seen."

I looked at him in shock as another puzzle piece dropped into place in my head. The day I had met Alice I had seen a woman smile at us when we said good bye. She looked an awful lot like..Oh my god. I'm Bella. And Alice is..Alice?

"Yeah, I'm assuming you and your friend are the girls she meant, considering the names," he said. I looked at him like he was insane for a moment before realizing I had said my last thought out loud. I started to hyperventilate again as I realized he knew more about me than I did. He knew exactly who I was. At that moment I decided that I couldn't continue the therapy. It would be too much of an embarrassment.

"Dr. Masen, I-I-I..I can't do this. How am I supposed to get over a delusional craziness if the thing I'm trying to avoid is impossible to get away from?! For Christ's sake, you're not supposed to be real! And.. and.. you know. You know all of it. I'm freaking in love with you, basically," I cried. "Hey! And why did you say yes to my case?! Jeez, I feel like a circus freak. 'Come Visit the Freaking Amazing Fictional Lover!' God, I'm sorry but I seriously cannot do this."

He looked at me seriously for a moment before saying "I'm sorry Bella, but I'm under strict instructions to not let you back out of these appointments. _Your_ instructions, actually. And to answer your first question I can simply say two things. We'll work on dissociating you with Ed—well..Ehrm.. the fake me. Following that, we will work on getting you to see me as someone not related to the books." I tried to interrupt saying that wouldn't work considering the interview he had given. He seemed to know what I would say.

"I am not the exact same person as the one who did that interview, Bella. That was six years ago. I was seventeen. I've changed since then, so that will help you to separate the book from me. As to you second question, why I agreed? Well, the answer to that is fairly simple. After Stephenie published the books, I read them immediately. I wanted to see what she had done with my character. I was surprised that she had given my character a counterpart. One that went so well with myself, at that," he said, a small smile starting to break out on his face.

"Okay, um.. But that still doesn't explain why you agreed to my torture and embarrassment," I countered before he could continue, feeling a blush rise in my cheeks. He, of course, chuckled at that.

"Well, I had always wondered which characters were the two girls Stephenie had seen in the mall. When your mother called to make an appointment and told me your name I nearly dropped the phone. I hadn't expected the character that I had been most intrigued with to be real. Of course I immediately agreed. I had to know if you could be anything like the girl from the books. I know it wasn't the most professional reason for agreeing. It didn't exactly help when I got to read your journal. I saw that you were so like the character and I immediately took the case. I had to meet the real Bella Swan," he finished while running his fingers through his bronze locks and avoiding my gaze.

Edward Cullen, no, Masen, had just told me that he had to meet me. He looked over at me with shock and worry covering his handsome face. I immediately wondered what was wrong, before I realized that I was swaying dangerously. I saw his mouth move but did not hear a sound. This seemed to be the reaction I was waiting for from my body. I could feel my brain starting to shut down due to all the overwhelming information while my vision began to blur.

The last thing I saw was Edward's shocked face before my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I slumped onto the floor besides the couch.


	4. ANNOUNCEMENT

**ANNOUNCEMENT**

**Okay so if you guys haven't already figured it out, this story is on an extended hiatus.**

**I started writing it to just put a dream I had on paper. **

**That's where chapter 3 ended.**

**Right now, I'm going to continue working on _Tear Down My Walls._**

**Once I get past my writer's block I'll add more to this story.**

**For now, you all should forget about my psychiatrist Edward and go visit with my orphan Edward.**

**Much Love,**

**Brianneee  
**


End file.
